Non-Specific Angst

I'm sure everyone has the same worries that I do right now. I have interviews arranged and everything is set. The problem is that there are no givens in the match. No matter how many interviews you do it doesn't seem to make a difference. I have met people with 12, 14 and 17 interviews that did not match last year. All outstanding people and all ideal candidates.

I don't really know how to look at the prospect of not matching except to realize that it is a possibility. Think about it for a second, 3 out of 4 of us won't match. So the first step is to really believe that you probably won't match.

It would really be awesome if I was lucky and matched this year. Unfortunately my track record has not been like that. It always seems that I have to claw my way into whatever it is I want. As a result I have learned a certain amount of caution when discussing hopes and plans with people. My advice to everyone is to let your family and friends know exactly how unlikely it is that you will match. At least if you don't match they will know the odds you were facing.

Second, I would have a backup plan in place. For me there is nothing but plastic surgery, so my plan involves fighting on. I will try to get a hand fellowship and reapply.

The beauty of believing that it could happen to you is that you jump ahead in the whole grief process and hopefully just start with anger. Pissed-off power has helped me through some tough times and given me the energy to keep going. I suppose everyone is different though and it may not work for you.

Anyway I'm off to Virginia this weekend. I can't wait to see everyone and I hope to meet a lot of new people.